Bowen… What's the score? From the late 90s. Author Unknown

It was the game that just couldn't arrive quickly enough. The return to the Green Green Grass of Penydarren park, for one Sam Bowen, probably the most controversial player to don a Martyrs top and recently sold to Worcester City for £5,000. This game was always going to be a tough one but the return of Bowen and mark Kelly and the fact that the Martyrs had suffered a 3-0 reverse the previous day at Bath, certainly spiced up this top of the table clash.
The club house was full, prior to the match, with a good turn out by the tractor numpties from over the border. All the talk in the clubhouse was of course about Bowen - would he get sent off, would he score a hatrick, would he react to the abuse? The Worcester boys seem to have taken to Sam a little better than us but then again we thought he was a God after his 5 goal debut. Only time will tell on that one! The smart money was on David Barnhouse to kick Sam into next week but there was even money on Dean Clarke and Graeth Abraham - someone actually had a pound on Holvey but I felt that this was a boot too far. Several pints were enjoyed bay all, a particularly pissed tractor man did a magic show and 3.00 P.M. was upon us.
As I made my way to my usual spot I looked around in disbelief. Could this actually be a crowd? Am I seeing things? Was that singing from the stand? Were the good old days about to return? The first rendition of Sammy Bowen… is a wanker… is a wanker took about 30 seconds to rear its pretty little head. And was reiterated on a number of occasions - by boys of 9 and men of 90! Sam had an absolute stinker in the first half being well marshalled by big Gareth and Co - the boy couldn't hit the side door of a barn. Shaun Chapple was doing a sterling job in Midfield and Mitch had an effort which hit the woodwork but at half time the score was still 0-0.
The second half continued in much the same vein with both sides showing the odd flash of good football and a shot on goal. On 68 minutes the inevitable happened - Bowen seemingly unmarked nodded in at the far post. The Worcester fans went berserk as Sam strutted his stuff in front of them, before putting his hands behind his ears to the Wank Bank. Again Sam was abused but it seemed that he was going to have the last laugh BUT to coin a phase from Hulby "WRONG!" The Martyrs pushed forward with enthusiasm without really threatening until a certain Gareth Abraham volley in late on in the match - bliss. From suicidal thoughts to joy in under half an hour. We went absolutely mental, myself and Carter's danced and hugged each other, Mytton and Wolvsey were on the verge of tears and Mr Strong tried his very best to keep his soup in the cup. A chant of Bowen… Bowen… what's the score? Is sent up and the whole crowd is now as one urging the Martyrs forward. Then deep into injury time Mystic Carter's himself says "We are going to score here" not more than 30 seconds later Sam Tan, Mr Chris Summers himself had hurtled the ball into the back of the net. Delirious - even Baldy Coot was seen strutting his stuff on the pitch. The final whistle blows the entire Wank Bank chanting Bowen… what's the score? Life is now superb! A few Worcester boys started coming it a bit in the clubhouse after the match shouting Worcestershire La La La and having a pop at Neil O'Brien but they were soon seen off by the locals and the all time famous Glamorgan La La La. Don't those sad twats realise that we are County Champions! Anyway for the record Neil O'Brien won Man Of the Match, although to be fair all of the Martyrs played as if their lives depended on it. The crowd was given as 1,089 and we got blotto with the President talking about it late into the night. Its good to see the collective team spirit there and long my it continue! Oh and yes to give Sam Bowen a minor credit he did appear in the clubhouse after the match. Hopefully it’s the Conference for us next year.

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