Sheep Thrills by Boz

My late Father once told me there was no such thing as an original joke. How true was this statement. If you have read any of the Boz comedy match reports on the Merthyr Town Fans Forum, you will confirm that this fact is true.

So it tickled me to see that a Cardiff City supporters bus was recently pictured as having being sprayed across the front windscreen with 'Sheep Shaggers' in paint outside a Bolton Pub.

Now I went to watch Merthyr Town at Hitchin two seasons ago and after the game popped in for a drink after the game after all Welsh fans had gone only to hear sheep noises there. It was of course not an original joke but was concrete proof that they will serve anyone in that baa.

But it is also time to face facts:

·        England has 23 million sheep and Wales merely 10 million.

·        England has a human population of 55 million and Wales merely 3 million.

·        There are 9% of agricultural employees in Wales and 73% who are equally attached to their animals across the Severn Bridge.

You do the maths. England has footballing towns called Shepton Mallet and Shepshed. They also have Ramsbottom and Preston North End too.

They also have Footballers named Southgate, Crouch , Lampard and Butt (Please note these are not instructions for those wearing a red rose). Best not to mention Seaman or Fowler either.

Now having had to suffer the ignominy of driving back from North Wales in 1987 for three hours in a Junior Martyrs coach with a vandalised windscreen and subsequently swallowing more insects than the entire cast of I'm a celebrity get me out of here....then I can empathise with our fellow South Walian footballing enthusiasts.

But what sticks in my throat (apart from Mayflies that is) is the thought of those extras from Phoenix Nights chuckling away at their attempt at being the Northern Banksy. Northerners whose second favourite pastime after football is to put ferrets down 'trousers. Northerners who dominate the presentation of dating game shows Blind Date and Take Me Out (of the field).

And all this from a club whose nickname is the Trotters?. Sounds like Pig Ignorance to me. Or just plain porkies? Or as they say in Hitchin ( a town named after the original STD code). If you can't bleat them ....join them?

Boz