Things I’ve almost forgotten by Mao

1. Ray Pratt’s goal v Chester City

2. Billy Buzz falling over the fence when we scored at home v Bangor in ‘87

3. Clive Ayres’s bandy legs

4. Rosettes being the only merch available 

5. Fireworks & porn at Bernard Price’s shop

6. My dad always parking in the same spot behind the Jubilee Club

7. The random and tiny crush barriers on the grass bank

8. Sitting on the concrete bases of the disused floodlights

9. “Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep” on the tannoy

10. Learning pop lyrics from the Record Mirror with Twiggy on away trips

11. Someone putting the clubhouse window through at Molesey (v. Corinthian Casuals)

12. Ruby up a tree at the Theatre End

13. Nicking the Merthyr Tydfil sign off the Oldbury United “next fixture” board

14. The exit behind Strikers still being open

15. Brushy’s “I hate fucking Gloucester City” t-shirt at Horton Road

16. Being chased at Cheltenham by home fan brandishing a motorbike helmet

17. Answering the phone in the clubhouse to give out that day’s result

18. The fountain working in Strikers

19. The train mob to Cardiff City when we lost 5-0

20. Mandy Passmore tipping hot soup down my neck on the Walk End

21. That goal by Derek Elliott v Gloucester in the FA Cup

22. Ending up in the trees due to the over the top celebrations of that goal

23. Llama’s one-man pitch protest at Gloucester City

24. Hiding in the skittle alley at Wimborne when the Bournemouth lads turned up

25. Watching the Bourneville estate lads invade the pitch at Weston Super Mare

26. Getting stuck in the turnstiles at Somerton Park when we lost 3-1

27. The smell of onions from a burger van inside Watford when Chesham was called off

28. Alan Sullivan’s FA Cup goal v Maidenhead United

29. My dad getting drunk on Hemeling at end of season do, thinking it was alcohol free

30. Pitch invasions from the Theatre End which took so long the game had already restarted by the time we arrived at the goals

31. Chris Holvey smashing a penalty high into Penyard

32. Ray Pratt’s hat-trick at Fareham

33. SA Brain Cup Final win at Ton Pentre over Sully Sports

34. Phil Brignull playing for Merthyr Tydfil

35. No toilets on the supporters’ bus and Fred Arscott’s no-stop policy almost killing us

36. Wooden seats in the main stand

37. The pool room in Strikers

38. Being scared stiff of the Bar Boys

39. Dicky Batt not winning player of the season and me kicking off about it

40. Me and Tim Twomey’s sit-down protest on the Wank Bank when Ian Docherty resigned as player-manager